When We Plan to Fail to Plan
My parents both passed away recently, my father first and my mother very soon after, neither had an estate plan in place. There was no Will in place, no instructions for care in my father’s incapacity and my mother felt the burden of this tremendously. I recall how fragile she was at her death, she had given of herself everything she had to deal with my father’s deteriorating condition while trying to balance all the responsibilities of life generally. They were simply unprepared despite having a retirement plan and enough insurance and savings in the bank to take care of each other for as long as they were blessed with life, good health or bad. But that’s the thing, isn’t it, money is transactional. It provides for the purchase of services and goods, bartering really, but what of care, wisdom, good direction and guidance. Who knows what’s best for me other than me? What to do with money when another is forced to make a decision in my best interest without my desires and intentions being made plain? Who decides what takes priority when the money is a small trickle?
I often reflect on what my father would have wanted for himself at the end. I reminisce on their deep love for each other, how silly and fun loving he was; how solid and present she was. I feel strongly he would not have wanted her to suffer his illness though she would ensure he persevered every blessed moment doctors, medicine and machine could grant him. He would have said, “Living is not doing battle with death.” I agree completely! I wish to embody all of these experiences and live and love fulsomely and die assuredly. Assured that my children and all those close to me will celebrate my life at its end in this realm.
So I have an estate plan; a Living and Testamentary Will. Strange things to be proud of on the surface, but my life is a deep thing, full and wide, so I have an estate plan. I am proud of the life I have built and lived and this is my legacy to my beloveds. Should I become ill or incapacitated for whatever reason, I have a Living Will which sets out plainly the care I would and would not like, to what extent medical care should be used to extend my life, and simply when to release me from this life to the next. My living will provides the means for my care so there is no financial burden, likewise my testamentary will provides for the payment of my debts and funeral expenses. Imagine planning your final send off, I can; it will be quite the party, tears, laughter and all! For sure there will be no fighting over who gets what and how much and be sure the state will not benefit from my estate nor divide it up according to some table or chart! When I rest, I will be at rest…no rolling over! You can never be prepared for loss, but in death you can be, as fulsomely as you wish.
Having an Estate Plan is not planning to die, death follows birth as naturally as a tree grows towards sunlight. Having an Estate Plan creates a legacy which, especially when done with the consideration of preserving generational wealth, outlives death(s).
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